Sheldon/Quotes/Splatoon 3

Media
"SRL here with info on a familiar face - Sheldon from Ammo Knights! If you already know Sheldon, then you can skip the rest of this tweet, which will be filled with as much information as it is scientifically possible to cram into 280 characters. To begin, Sheldon is known for talk-"

- @SplatoonNA on Twitter

"Sheldon returns in #Splatoon3 as the purveyor of Ammo Knights, where you can exchange Sheldon Licenses for new weapons.

Earn them by ranking up in battles or using the same weapon for a long time."

- @NintendoEurope on Twitter

"A horseshoe crab who really loves his job. Sheldon could talk about main weapons, subweapons [sic], and special weapons for hours…and he often does. He also likes to spend time polishing and cleaning his gear, and field-testing weapons in Octo Canyon. Stop by his weapons shop, Ammo Knights, when you're ready for a new set of ink-spewing weapons to take into battle."

- Play Nintendo

General

 * "Hello, he- Oh my, is that truly the only weapon in your possession? I would love to talk your tentacles off about the stuff I've got in stock, but I'm not sure you can handle the sheer firepower at lowly level 1. Listen-I've got a plan, and it will work. Go to the orange and play some orange. Get to... let's say... orange. Then come back and see me!" - When a player below level 2 enters the shop
 * "Hello, hello! Let me guess-you're looking for some new weapons? You've come to the right place! Hold the phone... What is THAT?! I didn't know you were a collector of vintage weapons! I must say-it's fascinating, but you'll need something far fresher for the Splatlands. Of course, before you walk out of here with something shiny and new, you're aware you'll need the correct orange, yes? And you can get Sheldon Licenses by battling and leveling up...or even just developing your skills by using a particular weapon a lot." - When a player at Level 2 or higher enters the shop for the first time
 * "AH! You've surprised me yet again. You already have at least one orange?! You ARE a true collector! In that case, I'm pleased to inform you that you'll be able to unlock a larger selection than usual right off the bat. Congratulations!" - When a player at Level 2 or higher enters the shop for the first time with Splatoon 2 save data imported (plays after the previous quote)
 * "Hello, hello! What are you in the market for today?" - When a player enters the shop
 * "I'm pleased to report my already wide selection has widened further yet. Take a look. I insist! Aha! You're ready to wield the orange!" - When new weapons are added
 * "And that's not all! You're also ready for the orange!" - When more than one weapon is newly available
 * "Hello, he- Oh... You seem to be offline. Come back when you're connected to the orange. You can get connected by visiting the lobby!" - When a player is offline
 * "Hm...judging by your current orange, that weapon is a little too spicy for you. But maybe there's a way around this somehow... I suppose if you simply MUST HAVE IT, I could let you trade orange Sheldon Licenses for it right now!" When a player attempts to buy a weapon above their level
 * "Hm...judging by your current orange, that weapon is a little too spicy for you. But maybe there's a way around this somehow... I suppose if you simply MUST HAVE IT, I could let you trade orange Gold Sheldon License for it right now!" When a player attempts to buy a weapon with a Gold Sheldon License if they already have a Sheldon License
 * "Oh, this is unfortunate. You don't have any Sheldon Licenses right now. You do have orange Gold Sheldon License, and I can accept that, but... It seems like it would be a waste. Are you sure you want to use your Gold Sheldon License on that?" - When a player attempts to buy a weapon with a Gold Sheldon License but doesn't have any Sheldon Licenses
 * "Get this one?" - When a player attempts to buy a weapon
 * "Equip it?" - When a player is about to equip a weapon after buying it
 * "Thank you! I know you'll give it a good home. Remember-you can equip new weapons in the orange menu." - When a player buys a weapon
 * "I'm afraid you're a bit lacking in the license department. I can't part with any of my wares for less than they're worth!" - When the player attempts to buy a weapon with no Sheldon Licenses nor Gold Sheldon Licenses
 * "I admire your devotion, but you already have that weapon!" - When a player attempts to buy a weapon that they already have
 * "Wondering how many Gold Sheldon Licenses you still have? Let me just look it up... Ah! You have orange left." - After the player spends a Gold Sheldon License on a weapon
 * "And with that, you've used your last Gold Sheldon License!" - After the player spends their last Gold Sheldon License
 * "Give it a whirl?" When the player is about to test the weapon out

Shooters

 * "The Splattershot Pro was developed for more advanced users by the same team that brought you the Splattershot! And here's a "pro" strategy for using it—deploy the Angle Shooter to limit your opponent's movement, then take advantage of the Pro's accuracy and range to splat 'em from downtown. Of course, sometimes you just want to crush your enemies with a crustacean, and that's where the Crab Tank comes in. Putting it all together is easier said than done, but this setup is built for players who dare to dream."
 * "The Jet Squelcher has boosted pump pressure to give it a range that rivals charger weapons! Like other weapons with extreme range, it doesn't offer much in the way of power. But when combined with the Angle Shooter sub, your enemies won't know what hit 'em. Because you'll be SO far away! Add the Ink Vac to the mix to suck up incoming offensives, and you have a loadout that's perfect for cool, calculating players who play it safe."
 * "For your main weapon, I present the Splash-o-matic, a weapon fine-tuned for highly accurate barrages! It may not have the ink spread or raw power of some weapons, but it more than makes up for it with rapid fire that is quite rapid indeed. Plus, when you can pin down an enemy with Burst Bombs, you don't need as much power. Simply splatter them at your leisure while they're mired in your ink. And with the Crab Tank special in your back pocket, nothing can stand in your way! Try not to laugh maniacally as you overpower the other team time and again."
 * "The Splattershot is beloved for its ease of handling and high potential. This is the latest model of the go-to weapon! Paired with Suction Bombs, you have a wonderfully stable loadout that allows you to respond to whatever the enemy throws at you. And let's not forget the Trizooka special. Let one off the leash at the right moment, and I guarantee your opponent won't forget! Is this setup a little basic? Yes! Basically one of the best setups you can have! Master the fundamentals, and you'll become a force to be reckoned with."
 * "The range and accuracy of the Aerospray MG aren't anything to write home about, but break out a pen and some stationery for its rate of fire! And when you pair a nimble weapon like that with Fizzy Bombs, it makes movement a breeze. You can quickly lock down plenty of turf to help support your teammates. Of course, inking turf is the name of the game, but sometimes you need a little extra OOMPH, and that's where the Reefslider special comes in. Ride it to glorious victory! This setup is ideal for players who like to mix it up—tactically pushing the front line and waiting for the right moment to go big."
 * "With its wide muzzle, the Sploosh-o-matic is well suited for close-combat situations. And escorting you to those close-combat situations is the Curling Bomb! Let one loose, and it'll lay down a proverbial red carpet to your foes' feet. Combined with the Ultra Stamp's forward rush, you have one powerful setup for players who love getting up close and personal—or who want to blaze a path forward for their allies."
 * "The .52 Gal is a heavy hitter with an extra-large nozzle for shooting massive amounts of ink. Of course, all that power comes at the expense of fire rate...which is why you'll want the Splash Wall to hide behind while reloading. And if the other team is playing it a little too safe, you've always got the Killer Wail 5.1. Lock on and blast 'em with lasers! So if you're the type to hang back and wait for just the right moment, this loadout is for you."
 * "The N-ZAP '85 is a shooter with excellent ink efficiency and rapid-fire capability! And, um...its power is certainly... adequate. Sorry—I hate to say anything negative, but this weapon doesn't pack the biggest punch. But that's OK! It's fast enough to send your enemies scrambling...and that's when you hit 'em with the Suction Bombs. Fire up the Tacticooler to energize your squad for a big push, and you've got a nimble loadout that's built for teamwork. It's what makes the dream work!"
 * "Is the N-ZAP '89 faster, better, or more powerful than the N-ZAP '85? No, but it comes in a new color! And this one comes with Autobombs to help you secure the area before launching an offensive. Sniff out enemies, and point your team in the right direction! Now, if your opponents think they're clever and keep camping near your Super Jump spots, this set allows you to hit em' with the Super Chump! It'll fire decoys that look like Super Jump landing spots...but are in fat ticking ink bombs that will explode within a few seconds. Try this set if you want to be the one playing chess while your enemies play checkers!"
 * "If the Splattershot Pro is for pro Splattershot users, I guess the Forge Splattershot Pro is for the pro Splattershot users who also rock Forge-brand gear! It's a mouthful, but when this set is firing on all cylinders, it does the talking for you. The main weapon in functionally identical to the base Splattershot Pro, but a Suction Bomb a day keeps the enemies away! Or, well, as many Suction Bombs as you can muster. And while the Booyah Bomb special might feel like too many bombs, when you get a chance to drop one, you'll realize that there's no such thing as too many bombs! This set isn't necessarily balanced for a beginner, but if you can handle it, few opponents will be able to handle YOU!"
 * "The .96 Gal is a shooter that hits hard and has a long range, courtesy of its large chamber and extended barrel! This thing would be an absolute cheat code if it fired just a little faster...but you can't have your crab cake and eat it too. You have to make each shot count! Still, you can set up a Sprinkler to help secure your turf...and the Ink Vac special doesn't suck. I mean, it DOES, but...you know what I mean!"
 * "The .96 Gal Deco is a decorated version of the .96 Gal. It's still shot of a full 1.00 Gal, but that's OK because now you have the Splash Wall as a sub weapon! That'll help you keep a safe distance while you blast away with your main weapon. Now, if anyone breaks through, all is not lost. That's when you call on the Kraken Royale to transform yourself into a giant squid or octopus! They say that the best offense is a good defense, and I say that's fundamentally impossible, but this set WILL give you the tools to play D with the best of 'em."
 * "The Custom Jet Squelcher is no off-the-rack Jet Squelcher. It's custom! But it's still made with high-quality official parts. And this set come with the Toxic Mist sub, which helps make up for the main weapon's lower fire rate and firepower by bogging down your enemies in, well, toxic mist. Meanwhile, toss the Ink Storm special out there when you can, and it'll be like splatting fish in a barrel for your teammates. Master this set, and it'll be a one-sided battle, with you on the winning side!"
 * "There are a lot of cool weapons in the Splattershot family, but the Splattershot Nova is a unique combo of range and firing rate in one awesome package! Granted, the weapon isn't going to win "Most Powerful" at the splat pageant, but it's great for supporting your front-line allies from a distance. Plus, when paired with the Point Sensor, you can telegraph opponent moves to your team—and mop up any survivors with the Kiler Wail 5.1 special. If you like to save the tastiest-looking bite of food last, give this loadout a try! And stop doing that—it'll taste better at the start of the meal."
 * "Why fire once when you can fire three times? That's the question that the L-3 Nozzlenose answers. One pull of the trigger launches three rapid shots. Now, don't get me wrong. This isn't a full-auto weapon. Holding down is like pressing the "close door" button in an elevator—it does absolutely nothing! So you'll want to time your triple shots perfectly...and wait for the right moment to toss a Curling Bomb. Or, if a triple shot won't do the trick, there's always the Crab Tank! So who's this set for? Just about anyone! It's so balanced that both the freshest noobs and the crustiest veterans can find a use for it."
 * "The L-3 Nozzlenose D is a special model of the L-3 Nozzlenose with the maker's logo emblazoned on it! But you know that's not all... it also has a fancy-schmancy new loadout! Including Burst Bombs to weaken foes a bit before finishing 'em off with your main weapon. And the special? None other than the Ultra Stamp, guaranteed to send anyone in your path running for cover. Don't underestimate the amount of ink you can fling with this setup, but it is a quirky combo. If you feel like making a big mess and experimenting, I hope you'll give it a try!"
 * "If you like the L-3 Nozzlenose but find it a bit lacking in power... enter the H-3 Nozzlenose! The "H" probably stands for "heavy," but I like to think it stands for "HAHAHAHA," which is the noise one typically makes while firing it. Now, the fire rate suffers a bit compared to lighter weapons, but when you can pinpoint your enemies with a Point Sensor, you can make each shot count. And with a team all juiced up on energy from your Tacticooler, you're ready to laugh all the way to the winner's circle."
 * "The Squeezer is a great choice for players who want flexibility. Pull the trigger once, and you get a single high-powered shot. But holding down changes everything! Suddenly the rate of fire goes up, and the Squeezer transforms into an absolute turf-inking machine. Master both modes, and you'll barely even need the Splash Wall to shore up your defenses. But it's there for you anyway! And with a Trizooka to tame far-off enemies, this set is built for flashy fighters who are comfortable being the center of attention."
 * "The H-3 Nozzlenose D is a custom H-3 Nozzlenose emblazoned with the manufacturer's emblem. And while the weapon's performance is unchanged, it now comes with the Splash Wall sub weapon to help cover for the main weapon's low fire rate. Add in the Big Bubbler special for an extra dose of protection, and you've got a loadout that really maximizes what you can do with the main. Give it a try!"
 * "The Annaki Splattershot Nova is a fun collab with the fashion gear brand Annaki that also gives users a new loadout to experiment with. While you spray the landscape with that great Splattershot coverage, you can also set traps for enemies using the Ink Mine sub. Watch 'em flounder while teammates take 'em out, or fire up the Inkjet special and take care of business yourself from above. There's no wrong answer! This set is designed to help you protect key areas on the battlefield, so it's perfect for masterminds who hope to execute on a fastidiously planned battle strategy."

Rollers

 * "The Splat Roller represents the roller class of weapons that excel at close combat and inking turf. With any roller, you can tap to fling ink, or hold  down as you run to lay down a path of inky goodness. Try using your Curling Bombs to sneak up close to an enemy, and then...PLOOSH! Get 'em with the roller. It's oh so satisfying. As an added strategic wrinkle, you have the Big Bubbler to rally your team to the front line at just the right moment. If you're new to rollers, I can't recommend this loadout enough. Who knows? Maybe you'll become a roller for life!"
 * "The Carbon Roller is a lightweight roller built using low-density parts for increased handling! Of course, lightweight leads to light inking capability, but if you can find an opponent with an Autobomb and then sneak behind them, it'll get the job done. Rounding out this zippy little loadout is the Zipcaster, which can also help you surprise and undelight your opponents. Basically, if you want to be a ninja, try out this set!"
 * "Feel like the Carbon Roller could use a little more zazz? Then the Carbon Roller Deco might be for you, friend! With a look created by top designers, this special roller comes with Burst Bombs to take your inking abilities to a whole new level. You'll cover so much turf that your opponents will find it hard to move - and then you can hit 'em with the Trizooka from way downtown. It really is that simple with this set. If you like sticking with a tried-and-true strategy - ink first and ask questions never - then give it a try!"
 * "The Krak-On Splat Roller is the product of a collaboration with the popular Krak-On gear brand! And you know what's useful when you're wielding a roller? Dropping a Squid Beakon to call your teammates! Invite them to land on the luxurious carpet of ink you've laid down. Can't find a way past the enemy's defenses? That's when it's time to deploy the Kraken Royale and bulldoze your way in as a giant octopus or squid! If you love nothing more than blanketing the map with your color of ink, this set may be for you!"
 * "The Dynamo Roller is a roller I designed myself using a power generator for high strength and long range! Now, I wasn't able to reduce the weight on the motor as much as I would have liked, but this thing can REALLY spill some ink, if I do say so myself. Pair it with the Sprinkler sub, and you can push forward to apply max pressure to the other team. And what will your team be doing, you ask? Why, relaxing and enjoying sweet, sugary sips from your Tacticooler, of course. You'll be the most popular teammate around!"
 * "The Flingza Roller is a wild one. Its shape changes depending on whether you swing it vertically or horizontally! I won't get too technical, but the automatic centrifugal clutch allows for light horizontal swings that go FLOOSH and heavier vertical swings that are more like GLOMP! The bottom line is that you can control the action. Use the vertical swing to lay down a path, then take down nearby opponents with the quick strike of a horizontal swing. While you're zipping around, you can also lay down Ink Mines to help sniff out opponents and fire off some Tenta Missiles for a one-two punch. If you're up to the challenge of simply dominating a match, then you should give this set a try!"
 * "You ever think to yourself... "This roller is great, but what if it were WIDER?" If so, the Big Swig Roller may be just what you wanted! They've taken a regular roller and just... made the roller part bigger! The result is that you can lay down a veritable red carpet - or green, or pink, or... you get it - of ink. Horizontal swings also hit a wider range, and vertical swings launch farther. The drawback is that attack power is lower than other rollers. That may not be an issue when you're hiding behind a Splash Wall, or when you can guzzle enemy ink with the Ink Vac special, so the set is actually pretty well-balanced. If you can't stand to see even a single spot of un-inked turf, give this set a try!"
 * "The Big Swig Roller Express is an exciting collaboration between the makers of the Big Swig Roller and a vending-machine maker! In addition to the new design, it now comes with the Angle Shooter sub, making it easy to tag enemies and take a sip of their health bar while you're at it. Plus, you can fire up the Ink Storm special to drive the other team into the open, and then finish them off with the roller. Talk about convenient! I guess that's the vending-machine influence paying off."
 * "The Gold Dynamo Roller is another roller that I'm proud to say I designed myself! It's based on the standard Dynamo Roller and has the same basic capabilities. Yes, with these rollers, I had to sacrifice a bit of mobility to give them best-in-class firepower and range. But I haven't heard any complaints so far! With this loadout, you'll use the Splat Bombs and Super Chump to distract your opponents while you look for an opening. Hit 'em hard, and don't let 'em splat you back! The best defense is a good offense, and offense doesn't get any better than this. So, weirdly, it's also the best defense! I hope you'll give this set a try."

Chargers

 * "The E-liter 4K Scope delivers the long-range action of the 4K model with a scope for added accuracy! Though it boasts a shot range that beats almost every other charger, you'll want to be extra aware of your surroundings when scoping in. Unlike the E-liter 4K, the scoped configuration won't let you store a charged shot, so keep that in mind as you adjust to the feel of using a scope. It comes with the same Ink Mines and Wave Breaker special as the base E-liter 4K, so you can apply the same strategy—stay safe while you zoom in and splat unsuspecting foes!"
 * "Ah, the Classic Squiffer. For a charger, it's a bit short on range, but in return it can charge up much more quickly. That allows you to use it in a more offensive way! I mean...being on the offense. Not that the weapon is offensive...except to your opponents. Anyway, I'd take advantage of the Point Sensor sub to coordinate an attack with my teammates. And if my home turf was invaded, I'd deploy the Big Bubbler and hide inside, using that Classic Squiffer action to snipe enemies. Comfy in close range with a charger? This set is for you!"
 * "Simply put, the Splat Charger is a charger-type weapon designed for long-range offense. Its operation is standard—hold down to charge up ink, then release  to fire it all out at once, inking a long path in an instant! Ah, but here's a key difference...the Splat Charger can actually hold its charge for a short period while you swim. Tactically speaking, that's a game-changing advantage! And with Splat Bombs to flush out hiding enemies and the Ink Vac to turn the tables on invaders, this set is impressively well-balanced. I recommend it for anyone who's looking to eventually master the charger category of weapons!"
 * "The Z+F Splat Charger is a special model of the Splat Charger from trendy gear brand Z+F! Now, that cool brand doesn't make the weapon any more powerful, or anything, but you will get an entirely new loadout to play around with! Take, for example, the Splash Wall. It's a great accessory for a charging weapon because it allows you to take cover while the main weapon, well, charges up! And it comes with the fearsome Triple Inkstrike special! Whether you use it to probe for hiding enemies or holding down the fort, it's a beast. If you want to be THAT charger user, give this set a try."
 * "The Splatterscope is a Splat Charger with an added scope for more effective long-distance aiming. It's great for hitting far-off targets, but your view is narrow while charging, so be extra careful! Also, that fancy scope takes up space, so something had to go. In this case, we had to nix the ability to store your charge. But hey, if you like to stay safe and shoot from afar, this could be the charger for you! When you're not scoping and sniping, you've also got Splat Bombs and the Ink Vac at your disposal, so this is a more balanced set than it would appear. Give it a try!"
 * "If you've ever wished that your Z+F Splat Charger had a way to see just... a bit... farther... now it kinda does! They call it the Z+F Splatterscope, and it's got a scope! Keep in mind that using the scope limits your field of view - and with this weapon specifically, keeps you from storing a charge. But with the Splash Wall and Triple Inkstrike in your back pocket, I think the benefits of this loadout are clear as day!"
 * "With its pressurized polymer construction, the E-liter 4K has a remarkably long range, even for a charger! To get the most out of it, you can set Ink Mines for opponents who get too close, then use the Wave Breaker special to reveal those who are slinking around in the ink. Still, this set is all about long-range accuracy, and in the right hands, it will definitely hit the target. I hope it goes to a good home!"
 * "The Bamboozler 14 Mk I is a tribute to a weapon used by the leader of the famous Squidbeak Splatoon, but retooled for the battles of today! I've used bamboo in my version to remain faithful to the original design, but as a trade-off, it can't store a charged shot. Is it the most powerful charger? No. Is it the most mobile charger? Also no. But with "good enough" power and charging speed, I think this is a compromise that WORKS. Plus, when you have Autobombs to sniff out enemy positions, you can put yourself in the perfect spot to charge up and attack! For the coup de grâce, activate your Killer Wail 5.1 and take a moment to pay tribute to the legendary leader who inspired this weapon."
 * "I debuted this weapon before, but I'm as proud as ever of the Goo Tuber, a charger with the upgraded ability to store your charge even longer! It offers high-pressure ink storage for extended periods, allowing you to stay submerged while you wait for the perfect shot! In exchange, it takes a bit longer to charge, but this baby can even store a partial charge, giving you the ultimate in flexibility. For instance, while you use a Torpedo to reveal enemy positions, you can be comfortably charging away in a safe spot. Then, when you're ready to ink 'em up, zip to the most advantageous spot and snipe away! If you miss, you have Tenta Missiles in your back pocket to finish the job. If you want to take your strategy to the next level by storing charges and taking advantage of each stage's unique terrain with your mobility, this set is for you!"
 * "The Custom Goo Tuber has that classic Goo Tuber performance but with a fresh new look and a new loadout that can really shake up your strategy! For example, when you use Fizzy Bombs to ink a path forward, you can load up a stored charge and blast ahead. Enemies corner you while you're on the offensive? You've got the Ultra Stamp special in your back pocket! It's so satisfying to turn the tables like that... And remember—stored charges are great, but this weapon still packs a punch on a partial charge. Don't be shy with that trigger button!"

Sloshers

 * "Even if you've never lobbed a blob, it's not against blob law to use the Bloblobber! What's more, each lob fires four blobs—that's an awful lot of lawful blobs! Once your tongue is untied, you can use the Bloblobber to target a single enemy—perhaps your friend Rob—or an entire mob. Truly, it's a versatile weapon for every job. And although they sound out of place here, the Sprinkler sub weapon and Ink Storm special actually complement this set quite nicely. Like butter melting over corn on the cob!"
 * "The Sloshing Machine is like a washing machine...but for getting everything filthy with ink! Each volley of beautiful, twisting ink hits its target with plenty of power and leaves a sloppy mess everywhere. It's great for covering plenty of turf. Try using Fizzy Bombs to contain the other team's movement while you dial the Sloshing Machine up to the max. The other team will be in a spin cycle before you know it! And don't forget about your Booyah Bombs—another tool in your quest to make a mess-terpiece of the field. By now it should be clear...this set is NOT for neat freaks."
 * "The Tri-Slosher answers a question that nobody asked, which is..."Please let me fling three giant buckets of ink at the same time."Hey, come to think of it, that's not even a question! Anyway, since the Tri-Slosher offers a broader attack, the inkpower is a bit less than your basic Slosher. But when you've got Toxic Mist to slow enemies down, it's barely even a problem. Add in the Inkjet, and you're packing plenty of power. This is a set for sloshing away with impunity!"
 * "The Tri-Slosher Nouveau is a special version of the Tri-Slosher that includes an exclusive sticker! And if the sticker isn't selling it, let me tell you about the loadout... First up, you get the Fizzy Bombs, enabling you to get the close distance between you and opponents quickly. If you've used sloshers before, you already know that close equals splat! And you can amp up the mobility even more with the Tacticooler! Now you're gliding around the map like a manta ray with rocket boosters, and your teammates are getting a boost too. Don't even get me started on the ink coverage. It's also great! So I hope you give this set a try. It can really turn the tide in battle!"
 * "The Slosher is one of the most technologically advanced weapons I have had the privilege of demoing. I'm kidding! It's a bucket of ink! But that doesn't mean it can't be absolutely brutal in the right hands. See, slosher-type weapons are perfect for attacking enemies in elevated positions or hiding behind walls. They think they're safe, and then...SPLOOOSH! You can't rapid-fire a bucket, of course, but in conjunction with Splat Bombs, you can stop almost anyone in their tracks. And with the Triple Inkstrike special, you have the ability to blindside the other team before moving in for the splat. This loadout is a bucketload of fun!"
 * "Slosher users-ever feel like your slosher just isn't as fancy as some of the other weapon types? Well, check out the Slosher Deco! It has cool stickers on it! I joke but no one will be laughing when you master the Angle Shooter sub and tag all your enemies for easy splatting by your teammates. And if you use the Zipcaster to reach high ground, you can rain down ink all day long like only a slosher main can. You bucket will runneth over with this set, so be sure to give it a try if you like sloshing."
 * "The Explosher main is a reporpoised industrial heater modified to fling piping-hot ink long distances! Its shots explode on contact with walls and the ground, so it's handy for hitting foes who like to hide! And with the Point Sensor sub, you can reveal enemy positions to your allies, or queue 'em up for your own ink bath, courtesy of the Explosher. For super-slippery customers who might be slinking along in their own ink, fire up the Ink Storm and watch 'em scramble as they're revealed. With so many ways to direct the action, I recommend this loadout for all aspiring team captains!"
 * "I'm pleased to introduce an entirely new slosher...the Dread Wringer! This double-muzzled slosher actually fires—or rather, sloshes—two bursts of ink at once. There's a slight delay before the second burst releases, which gives you an interesting choice. Fire straight ahead and hope for a powerful direct hit, or... Try sweeping the nozzles horizontally to attack or ink a wider area. The choice is yours! Oh, I haven't gotten to the loadout yet! With both Suction Bombs and the Reefslider special, you have an explosive combination that more than makes up for lower firepower. It may take some getting used to, but if you can master the way of the double slosh, I think you'll find this can be a go-to weapon set that you'll have tons of fun with!"
 * "The Sloshing Machine Neo isn't so much an upgrade from the basic Sloshing Machine as a...side-grade. It has the same basic ability to slosh ink all over the place. But it has a new look and a new loadout to play with—including the Point Sensor sub! Throw one down to mark enemy positions, then put 'em in the splat cycle with your main. If you've got stubborn enemy ink stains that just won't come out, that's when it's time to fire up the Trizooka special. I'll put it this way... it's not for delicates! This set is great for players who want to put the other team in a permanent press and see a sparkling clean sweep at the end."
 * "Love the Bloblobber but not the way it looks? Check out the Bloblobber Deco! It lobs blobs just like a regular Bloblobber but has a fun new look. And did I mention the new loadout? This one comes with the Angle Shooter sub, which can both deal damage directly and reveal tricky hidden enemies. I should also talk about the Kraken Royale special, but really...the ability to transform into a massive killer squid or octo at a moment's notice kind of speaks for itself. I recommend this set for maximum blob lobbing with a dash of mobility and a heaping helping of giant squid!"

Splatlings

 * "The mechanics of the Heavy Splatling are similar to those of a charger, but it's in a weapon class of its own! Hold down to compress your ink, and then release  to unleash a monster stream! Now, as you might expect, each charge takes a while to get ready and uses a huge amount of ink, leaving you wide-open while you wait. That's why the Sprinkler is a great sub weapon here. It'll help your turf stay inked and keep a little distance between you and your enemies. The pro move is to fire up your Wave Breaker to expose enemy locations while the Heavy Splatling charges up. Then it's open season from way downtown! With power like this, even enemies with chargers will be jelly!"
 * "Ooo, let me tell you all about the new and improved Mini Splatling. Thanks to a few revisions with the firing mechanism, it charges more quickly than ever! This loadout also comes with Burst Bombs, which are excellent for inking walls, allowing you to get vertical in a hurry when the situation demands it. And speaking of situational strategy, with the Ultra Stamp as your special, you can push the front line at the drop of a splat. Try this set out if you fancy yourself a field general!"
 * "Let me introduce you to a very special weapon—this is called the Ballpoint Splatling, and it has a unique dual fire rate! Here's how it works. When you start firing, the barrel spins super fast, spraying everything around you with tons of ink. It's great for covering turf quickly. But once the spin slows a bit, the weapon transforms into a long-range ace! You can target faraway enemies with shocking accuracy. And that's not all! Sorry—I've been watching infomercials. The Ballpoint can be paused midfire to recharge. Not all splatlings can do that! Now, with all of these features, this weapon might take some getting used to, so I recommend taking it for a test run on the firing range before heading straight into battle. In conjunction with Fizzy Bombs and the Inkjet special, this loadout may not be for beginners, but it's a technical wizard's dream come true."
 * "The Nautilus 47 was the first splatling to allow you to store your charge while swimming in ink! It sounds like a small detail, but let me assure you...it's huge! It means you can charge undetected until you're ready to leap out and splat an unsuspecting opponent. Of course, this state-of-the-art weapon has a few other tricks up its sleeve as well...It can be paused midshot to charge. It has a stabilizer to keep your aim steady while you jump. And it makes an inkredible grilled cheese! Oh, I may have dreamed the last one...Anyway, with the Point Sensor sub and Ink Storm special to help read opponent positions, this loadout can make you feel like you're playing in Cod Mode!"
 * "The Hydra Splatling is designed to impose extreme pressure on your opponents' turf through superior firepower. However, because the weapon takes so long to charge, it's definitely a liability in close quarters. I recommend using your Autobombs to fend off incoming bogeys—and they can even help reveal far-off opponents who can be splatted from long range! If anyone DOES make it past your defenses, the unwelcome surprises aren't over. This loadout allows you to greet them with a Booyah Bomb! Mi casa is NOT su casa! I recommend this setup for all you homebodies who want to set up camp and never leave—supporting your team through long-range firepower instead!"
 * "The Heavy Splatling Deco is simply a Heavy Splatling that's been cosmetically enhanced. That said, it also comes with a new loadout, including the Point Sensor! Fire up that sub to pinpoint a target, and... ba-ba-ba-BOOSH! Lay 'em out with the Heavy Splatling inkpower. Find yourself in a tight spot? That's when it's Kraken Royale time, friend. The only thing an enemy can do in the face of that special is run away. This is a unique loadout that will set you apart on the battlefield. Why not give it a shot?"
 * "The Heavy Edit Splatling boasts the fastest fire rate of any splatling and—despite the name—a surprisingly lightweight feel, allowing you to move quickly and shoot quickly-er. Oh, I wish I could edit what I just said as quickly as this weapon edits enemies out of the picture. No one shot hits particularly hard, but with this fire rate, it hardly matters! And speaking of speed, your Curling Bombs can put you on the glide path to victory, and the Tacticooler special can help you get there even sooner with a speed burst! You don't need to read between the lines here. I'm saying this set is built for one thing—going fast. Why not buckle up and give it a try?"
 * "The Ballpoint Splatling Nouveau offers the same capable performance of the original but with a new look and a new loadout to help you write a different story! Pepper the field with Ink Mines to bookmark your enemies for easy splatting later. And use the Ink Vac special to set up the ultimate plot twist—literally reversing enemy progress and making it easier for your team to move around the map and splat freely! Just remember—even if you fancy yourself a brilliant writer, you could use a coauthor. This set is designed with teamwork in mind, so don't be afraid to collaborate!"

Dualies

 * "The Glooga Dualies were developed with one thing in mind—pure damage. They're not the fastest dualies, but when you pull off a sweet Dodge Roll with these in your hands, you temporarily gain the ability to fire an outrageously powerful shot! Now, while the big-shot power grabs the headlines, many people overlook the Splash Wall sub. And that's a mistake, because it actually gives you great defensive balance. Last but not least, the Booyah Bomb special has the potential to tip the scales in your favor. I hope this balanced set helps you net a lopsided victory!"
 * "The Dapple Dualies are dualie-type weapons that have been obsessively engineered for optimum mobility! They're now lighter, allowing for faster movement, but they have less range. It's a trade-off. But you know what goes well with mobility? Even more mobility! That's where the Tacticooler special shines. Blitz forward with added speed from the Tacticooler, and place Squid Beakons to help your teammates secure forward positions to take advantage of this set. It's not a hit-and-run strategy. It's more like...run-hit-run-run-hit- hit-hit-run... You get the picture."
 * "Do you know the Jet Squelcher? Would you like to have two of them? Good, because that's what Dualie Squelchers offer! If you don't know the Jet Squelcher, it features the ability to fire off extremely accurate and fairly rapid shots after executing a roll. And now you have TWO of them! Meanwhile, you can sniff out enemies with both the Wave Breaker special and your Splat Bombs. I call it the "see it, splat it" strategy. If you like to stick and move with accurate shots across a long distance, I recommend you give this loadout a try!"
 * "Here we have the Splat Dualies, a dualie weapon born from the "ink hard or get splatted trying" culture of Turf War battles! These are dual-wielding, pistol-type weapons that—let's be honest—look pretty sweet. But there's some real substance behind the style...The propulsive exhaust nozzles on each weapon allow you to perform a high-speed Dodge Roll! As a trade-off, you won't be able to move for a brief moment after executing this move. But during that time, the two weapon sights overlap, increasing your splatting power. Paired with Suction Bombs as your sub weapon, this loadout might SEEM as though it's lacking in power... then BOOM. You realize you have the Crab Tank. All hail Crab Tank!"
 * "The Dark Tetra Dualies feature four ink-ejecting nozzles that allow you to execute up to four Dodge Rolls in a row! Yes, I said FOUR! And because you can shoot while rolling, you'll be able to zip around stages with ease and roll your way to victory. This loadout also comes with Autobombs, which almost seems unfair. You can use those to chase your opponents out of hiding spots, and then swoop in with the splat. And if they slip away? Fire up the Reefslider and hunt 'em down, shark-style. I recommend this set for those who want to set up their own pincer moves and pressure the enemy!"
 * "The Custom Dualie Squelchers are exactly what they sound like - a customized set of Dualie Squelchers! That said, they come with a new loadout, including the Squid Beakon sub weapon. You can use that to strategically consolidate your forces on the map. Then, with everyone assembled, try activating the Super Chump to draw in opportunistic enemies before teaming up to take them out. If you fancy yourself a tactical mastermind, consider adding this set to your arsenal!"
 * "The Light Tetra Dualies have the same specs as the dark ones, but they come in a set geared toward turf inkage! So what does that mean? Well, try leaving the inking to the Sprinkler sub while you Dodge Roll straight toward the front lines. Then, when your Zipcaster special is ready, you can fly around enemy turf sowing chaos and confusion! It's all a bit like taping an extra turbo to a vehicle that has five turbos already. Excessive? Perhaps! But if you have the need for speed, give it a shot."

Brellas

 * "The Tenta Brella is... well, a big umbrella. You'd be forgiven for thinking it looks like the sort of thing you could camp in. Because that's certainly one way of using this setup! Try placing a Squid Beakon, and then opening your Tenta Brella wide for your teammates to gather behind. And if the enemy is bringing major inkpower that can penetrate the brella? Fire up the Ink Vac, and send it right back at 'em! I hope I've made it clear that this loadout is for the ultimate team player—someone who wants to protect and support their team on the path to victory!"
 * "Umbrellas help you stay dry, but Splat Brellas do that and more—like coat the battlefield and any enemies in your path with ink! Let me explain. You can spray ink normally with . But if you HOLD, the brella will open like a shield! And if you hold even longer, you'll launch the brella itself. It leaves a trail of ink, can damage enemies, and STILL protects you. It's a triple threat! Speaking of triples, this set also comes with the Triple Inkstrike and the Sprinkler sub, so I guess you could say it's got you covered."
 * "Of all the brella-type weapons, the Undercover Brella looks the most like an ordinary umbrella. And that's no accident—the weapon was designed for stealth splatting! Getting into the technical aspects, the canopy-launching mechanism has been removed here to allow for rapid fire. The weapon can even be fired while the canopy is open! Back to stealth capabilities—you can use the Ink Mine sub weapon to help scope opponent positions before sneaking in for a splat they'll never see coming. And if you're spotted? Throw all subtlety out the window, fire up the Reefslider, and ride boldly to victory! I recommend this set to all aspiring spies, especially those who know how to walk softly and carry a big shark-based motorcycle."
 * "The Tenta Sorella Brella set is similar to the Tenta Brella set, but it has a modified design and a different sub and special. Now you'll be able to press forward with the brella and lay Ink Mines as you go. Spot an enemy? Flap that brella as hard as you can, and take 'em out! If a particularly slippery foe sneaks away, you've also got the Trizooka special in your arsenal. Near or far, it's got power and range aplenty. Clearly, this set has offensive oomph, but don't overlook the benefits of the brella's defense. If you can flip the switch from offense to defense on a whim, give it a try!"
 * "The Sorella Brella is the fraternal twin of the Splat Brella—that is, same stats, same basic DNA, but different design and brella composition. And the loadout's different too! Now you can fend off foes with the Autobomb sub before pushing forward with the brella. Here's a pro move: deploy the brella shield, and then fire up your Inkjet special to rain down ink to support your allies making a forward push behind it. This set is carefully crafted for players who have the skill and experience to use each component in a coordinated attack. I hope you'll give it a try!"

Blasters

 * "What can I say about the Blaster other than...it blasts. HARD. When those balls of ink explode, they can even tag enemies hiding behind walls. Now, the range isn't great, and the rate of fire leaves a little to be desired, but you can always coax an enemy out of hiding with an Autobomb, can't you? On the other hand, if you're getting charged, that's when it's time to break out the Big Bubbler. Basically, if YOU want to be the one controlling the action, this is the loadout for you."
 * "The Luna Blaster may look cute, but its short-range exploding ink shots pack a serious wallop. If you find that your enemies are dancing just outside that range, toss a few Splat Bombs to keep 'em on their toes. And for the ones sniping you from FAR away, fire up the Zipcaster, sneak behind 'em, and...well, you know what to do from there. Really, this set is ideal for players who want to read the terrain and react to their opponents' moves."
 * "Some may say the Luna Blaster Neo is just a Luna Blaster with a sweet new design. I...may have said that myself. But the loadout as a whole is actually quite different! Of course, the weapon packs that same great punch as the original Luna Blaster. But if you find the range isn't enough, now you can fire off a Fizzy Bomb. And for those times you're politely knocking on the door but can't break through, the Ultra Stamp can help kick that thing down and get the splat party started! This set is cute as all get-out, but it's deadlier than a bathtub full of alligators. If you're into that kind of contrast, give it a try!"
 * "The Range Blaster delays the oxidization of ink, which extends the range before it explodes. Let that sink in. It's SO COOL how it works! Of course, you lose a little fire rate, but that's OK when you have Suction Bombs to flush out your opponents. And with the Wave Breaker at your disposal to reveal their positions, it's almost like your enemies will have nowhere to hide! I recommend this loadout to anyone who fancies themselves a master of the hunt."
 * "You know how blasters tend to have a low rate of fire? Not the Clash Blaster! Its speedy shots are great for keeping foes at bay! Now, it's not going to win any awards for power, but when you have Splat Bombs to corner your enemies, it'll get the job done. And if an opponent still manages to slip away? That's when you trash 'em with the Trizooka. Talk about a chaotic combo. If that sounds fun, this loadout is for you!"
 * "The Clash Blaster Neo offer the same functionality as the original Clash Blaster...but with a fresh new look and a redeveloped loadout! First, you've got the Curling Bombs to help you glide across the map toward the enemies. You know what to do when you get there, right? And just when they're onto you, you can fire off the Super Chump to send a bunch of exploding decoys into the mix. This is a balanced set that can help you pull off some flashy victories. Give it a try!"
 * "The Rapid Blaster lives up to its name with an improved rate of fire and modest ink consumption. Now, if you know me at all, you know I'm going to tell you about a big trade-off, and it's this: low power. But using the Ink Mine to reveal enemy positions helps make up for it. What I'd do with a combo like this is use the Rapid Blaster to create a whirlwind of ink, then take it to the next level with a Triple Inkstrike. This setup lets you focus in on key areas of the map—whether you're defending the home base or pushing an advance into hostile territory."
 * "The Rapid Blaster Deco is a cool, decorated version of the Rapid Blaster. Not that the original isn't cool! You'll have to decide for yourself which one you like better. Maybe the overall loadout will help you make the choice! This one comes with the Torpedo sub to help make up for the main weapon's somewhat low attack power. And for those moments when you want to breach the front lines, you've got the Inkjet special! Not a bad little surprise to keep in your back pocket. This is a versatile set tat can really shine with the right user, so I hope you can get a chance to try it out!"
 * "The Rapid Blaster Pro owes its incredible range to a chamber system that delays ink oxidization to the last possible moment! With that technology in hand, try catching your enemies in a little Toxic Mist before giving them a few inksplosions as a parting gift. And if anyone gets too close? Fire up the Ink Vac, and turn their own inkpower against them! This is a set that will make the tactically inclined player veeery happy."
 * "The S-BLAST '92 is an exciting new blaster that's equipped with two distinct ink-firing mechanisms. You'll switch between the two on the fly based on your movements! When firing normally, this is a weapon with balanced accuracy, range, and power. It won't overwhelm anyone with sheer force, but I think you'll hit the target more often than not. However, when you fire while jumping, this weapon transforms into a heavy-duty powerhouse, launching large blasts of ink that explode nearby. It's a whole different beast! Keep in mind that the range will dip in this mode, but you've got the Sprinkler sub and Reefslider special to more than make up the difference. Will you be one of the first to master this unique new weapon? Why not? Give it a try!"
 * "The Rapid Blaster Pro Deco is a Rapid Blaster Pro that's been spiffed up by top designers and paired with a new loadout. You'll get the same performance you're used to, but with the Angle Shooter sub, it's easier than ever to take out distant foes. And having the Killer Wail 5.1 special in your back pocket to clean up loose ends is always a treat. No one can escape the wail! This isn't the best set for up-close-and-personal splatting, but give it a try if you like to keep your distance in battle!"

Brushes

 * "The Octobrush has dense bristles that fling a thick stream of ink with each slash. It's a heavier entry in the brush weapon class, which is known for being light and nimble. But even with those heavy brush strokes, you won't be able to reach everywhere—and that's where the Suction Bombs come in. Lastly, if you're up against enemies with ranged weapons who just won't engage up close, you've got the Zipcaster in your back pocket. Zip on over and give 'em what for! This is a user-friendly loadout that's easy for beginner brushers but capable enough for true artistes!"
 * "The Inkbrush is a super-light brush weapon that lets you ink your way forward with blistering speed! There's not much room for power when you're moving that fast, but you can keep counterattacks at bay with plenty of Splat Bombs. Add the Killer Wail 5.1 to the mix, and you've got a combo that will confuse and annoy your opponents into submission! I can see it now... You blaze across battle lines...toss a Splat Bomb, and trigger the Killer Wail just in time to headbang along as the clock runs out. Whew! That's inking outside the box!"
 * "If you like the Inkbrush but you're not thrilled with it's base loadout, why not try something new? By that I mean the Inkbrush Nouveau! You can use that patented Inkbrush mobility to glide across the terrain, leaving Ink Mines in all sort of INK-onventient places for the other team as you go. Find yourself in a tight spot? Blast your way out with the Ultra Stamp! Then you can continue inking up enemy territory like a postmodern painter gone wild. This is the perfect set for battle artists who can't stand to stand still!"
 * "If you like brushes but wish they had a bit more range and power, then you've got to experience the Painbrush for yourself! It's all thanks to a unique 90 degree rotation by the brush head, giving this weapon the most range of ANY brush out there. The trade-off is that each swing is a bit slower, but this is still a brush we're talking about. You'll be flying across the map, and you can use Curling Bomb to blaze your path. Add in the Wave Breaker special to light up your enemies, and you've got a potent set designed for speed and extreme range!"
 * "Nouveau means "new," and Octobrush means "Octobrush," so the Octobrush Nouveau is like a "new Octobrush"! That said, it offers the same level of performance you may already know from the Octobrush but with a loadout designed for teamwork. Use your Squid Beakons to rally teammates to critical spots on the map, whether attacking or retreating. Nothing zips you back to the fray as quickly! And when you're on the front line, the Ink Storm special is a great way to hold your position. I recommend this set for aggressive players who splat and get splatted up front!"

Stringers

 * "The REEF-LUX 450 is a lighter version of the Tri-Stringer that's a bit more user-friendly for folks who are new to stringer-type weapons. Like most lightweight weapons, it doesn't pack the biggest punch or range—no exploding charged shots here—but it does offer the ability to store a charge! This set comes with Curling Bombs to help you close the gap into enemy turf quickly, letting you take full advantage of the nimble nature of your main weapon. And when you want to make a big impact in a hurry, don't forget about your Tenta Missiles. You can make it rain missiles on opponents out of range of the REEF-LUX. This is a highly mobile loadout that lets you fight with flexibility and still take down powerhouse opponents. I hope you give it a try!"
 * "I am so excited to share this new weapon tech with you. Behold the Tri-Stringer—a stringer-type weapon that fires in three directions at once! Press while standing or running, and the ink will fire horizontally. Press  while jumping for a shot that's concentrated vertically. The flexibility is unparalleled! And that's not even the best part. You can hold down  to charge a shot! The ink will fly farther AND explode if it hits a wall or the floor. I could go on all day about stringers, but I should mention that the Toxic Mist sub is great for keeping enemies at bay, or at least slowing them down. And for enemies that you can't even reach with a charged shot, you've got the Killer Wail 5.1 with supersonic range at your disposal. I hope you'll give one of the new stringers a try!"
 * "The Inkline Tri-Stringer is a fresh collab between the makers of the original Tri-Stringer and Inkline. With a new loadout and look, I hope Tri-Stringer fans will check it out! For those on the fence, I've got ideas about how to take advantage of this set's strengths. Try luring enemies in with the Sprinkler—a fully charged Tri-Stringer shot will take 'em out! And you have the Super Chump decoy to help you take advantage of the main weapon's ultra-long range and firepower. I think this setup really lets the Inkline Tri-Stringer shine, so give it a fully charged shot!"

Splatanas

 * "The Splatana Wiper is part of an entirely new category of weapons known as Splatanas! These sword-like slashers can fling ink through the power of centrifugal force. To do a basic 'horizontal slash, just press . But you can also hold to unleash a vertical slash that will really send some ink flying! On top of that, if you perform a vertical slash while tilting  a bit forward, you'll step forward with the attack, adding enough power to flatten most foes. Paired with the Torpedo sub, you can slash across the battlefield and level your enemies with a single stroke. It's almost too good! And I haven't even mentioned the Ultra Stamp special yet. If the other team hasn't surrendered, the Ultra Stamp is sure to make 'em think twice. If you want to be among the first trailblazers in the splatana-fighting genre, this set is for you!"
 * "What's the Splatana Wiper Deco and how is it different from a Splatana Wiper, you ask? Well, it's got a new look! And more significantly, an all-new loadout. Now you can use this lightweight weapon to splash a path to the front lines, where you can place Squid Beakons to rally the team. Once you've all hit your marks, fire up the Tenta Missiles special to scope out enemy positions and start tearing things up. This is a versatile set that's designed for team players who thrive in a support role without giving up too much speed or offensive firepower. Try it out!"
 * "If you're looking for a splatana-type weapon with a bit more OOMPH, look no further than the Splatana Stamper, my friend! Now, this weapon takes a bit longer to charge than the Splatana Wiper, but the trade-off is a wider, more powerful spray of ink. It can really do some damage! Give this a try: fire off a charged slash, and follow it quickly with a horizontal slash or Burst Bombs. Not sure what they call a one-two punch in swordplay, but this is it! And with the Zipcaster special, you're practically buckling swashes! Er, swashBUCKLING. What I mean to say is you're basically a laser space pirate with elite space-pirate tech!"