Nessie vs. Aliens vs. Bigfoot

Nessie vs. Aliens vs. Bigfoot is an upcoming Splatfest event in. It is the first Splatfest to take place during Fresh Season 2023. It was announced on social networks on 2023-03-16. It is also the first Splatfest to happen in Inkopolis Plaza in-game since Splatoon with the release of Splatoon 3: Expansion Pass.

Announcement
Nessie, aliens, or Bigfoot -- which of them is REAL? Deep down, we all know the truth!

Ay?! (You're saying one is real... but ONLY one?!)

Our first choice is the famed monster from the primordial depths, Nessie herself!

Hold up. Seeing is believing, and so many folks around the world have seen aliens!

Ay... (There's also the Bigfoot prints found on snowy mountains... but...)

A-ay? (Is this really the Splatfest theme? Which fake thing exists?)

It is a bit odd, but... (This is it, Shiver. Time to hit 'em with your best shot!)

Nessie being real would explain something that happened to me not long ago.

Yes... it was a dark and foggy afternoon. I was just getting off of work...

What, from a Grizzco shift?

I glanced over at the ocean to see a long, thin THING slithering out from the water!

AAAAAAY! (AAAAAAH!)

Oh yeah, I've seen that. But Nessie comes from a lake, right? Not the sea.

Wait, you're sure you saw Nessie? (Whatever I saw, it wasn't THAT!)

Tell you what else I've seen... real aliens! There was a UFO at the Crater, big as life!

I didn't see it up close, but it was metal and flying for sure. With fierce-looking fists!

That sounds so familiar...

Ay! (C'mon, you two, quit telling tall tales!)

Whaddaya mean tall tales?! Let's hear your story, Big Man!

Ay. (It's so scary, but OK. I was out skiing when I found a huge footprint in the snow.)

Ay! (Afterward, folks say they saw a big, fuzzy shadow on the slopes. B-Bigfoot!)

Whoa, you're shaking. Either you're actually scared... or you're a TERRIBLE liar.

Even if what he said is true -- and it is not -- Nessie is cuter and realer than the rest.

I'm still Team Aliens! I wanna get in the ring with that UFO and see what it's made of!

Ay?! (If Bigfoot's not real, why am I so afraid of it?!)

Trivia

 * In the announcement dialogue, Frye references The Crater and the Octobot King L3.Gs, implying this Splatfest takes place after Return of the Mammalians.
 * The long, thin creature "slithering out from the water" that Shiver mentions is likely a Horrorboros.