User:DontTreatMeLikePotato
| “ | Off the Hook will be mine truly if they ever make plushies of them... | ” |
— DontTreatMeLikePotato after the announcement for Hare versus Tortoise
| ||
Hey, I'm DontTreatMeLikePotato. I'm pretty new here, but Splatoon 2 is one of my favorite video games and I have a lot to say. Let me start with the important stuff: qualityrific wiki pages are good.
Splatoon experience and stuff
I've played both Splatoons and I <3 them. But before around December 2016, I didn't know anything about Splatoon. I missed all the Splatfests...
In Splatoon, I'm level 30-something and I use the Dual Squelcher. I still play turf war occasionally. Is it just me, or is it kind of... easier? Also, I've completed all Octo Valley levels, but never got around to completing all the amiibo challenges. Did most of them though.
In Splatoon 2, I'm level 34 and I use the Dualie Squelchers! How very fitting! I've completed all Octo Canyon levels with all weapons.
I've completed Octo Expansion and all the stations. But not with all the weapons. Definitely not going through that... Not with that darn Girl Power Station... I didn't bother with Inner Agent 3 either. Tried a few times a while back, then quit.
Splatfests
Splatoon
I wasn't actually around for any of these, but I guess I can still say which teams I would have picked.
I got this list thing from someone else's userpage. I'm sorry... I'm just not a tech person.
| Splatfest teams | |||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Team | Result | Notes | |||
| Dogs | Victory | I don't really like either... I just slightly prefer dogs. | |||
| Water Slides | Loss | Inklings can't touch water, but I really don't like roller coasters. | |||
| Marshmallows | Victory | I used to like hot dogs, but... I got tired of them and now they're kind of gross to me... | |||
| Autobots | Loss | I have no idea what this is. I'm just picking Callie's team. | |||
| Art | Victory | I like to draw pictures and taking science tests is the worst. Actually, no. Taking HISTORY tests is the worst. Wait, NO. Taking MATH tests is the worst. Yeah. Okay, science definitely isn't the worst. | |||
| Cars | Victory | I've... never been on a plane. | |||
| Ninjas | Loss | Who's the pirate with a baguette for a sword? Peanuuuuuut... Peanut Butter! | |||
| Burgers | Victory | Well, at the time, I would have chosen pizza, but... PIZZA'S PROJECTS MAK ME SICK. Get real . an STEP UP. I mean... I'm just tired of pizza. | |||
| Nice | Loss | I would have gone on team nice, but felt very weird about it. | |||
| Pokemon Red | Loss | Never played Pokemon. I would have just gone on Callie's team. | |||
| Snowman | Loss | Do you wanna build a snowman? Come on, let's go and play... | |||
| Spongebob | Loss | Um... I HATE SPONGEBOB. I would have gone on Callie's team. But every time I would have gone on Callie's team, I would have lost... Wow... | |||
| Fancy Party | Victory | Costumes are a hassle... looking pretty is pretty. | |||
| Night Owl | Victory | I'm homeschooled, what do you expect? | |||
| Callie | Loss | *crys because Callie lost* If she had won, Splatoon 2 would have been different... | |||
Splatoon 2
| Splatfest teams | |||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Team | Result | Notes | |||
 Cake |
Loss | Do you realize what this means, Marina? Pearl will never have a happy birthday again. Look what you've done to your Pearlie. | |||
 Ketchup |
Loss | I don't really like ketchup or mayo. I just slightly prefer ketchup. | |||
 Flight |
Victory | Hooray, my first win! Pearl said "Soaring through the sky while everyone else is stuck in traffic? That's freedom." And to be truly invisible, you have to be naked. | |||
 Werewolf |
Loss | OK, so I kinda changed my mind about it right after I picked the team. But I'll never tell anyone why I picked it in the first place. | |||
 Fantasy |
Victory | I picked fantasy because of Miitopia. Um, it's got a dragon. Also I've never read or watched or whatevered anything sci-fi. There's a dweeb in the crosswalk, good thing we stopped in time | |||
 Sweater |
Victory | If I get an ugly sweater, I can make it huge and use it as a parachute. Haha just kidding. | |||
 Comedy |
Victory | What's better than a good laugh? I've heard action movies are cheesy... Never actually seen for myself... | |||
 Love |
Victory | Honestly, if money had won, I would have thrown my Switch... I'm so broke. | |||
 Chicken |
Victory | The first chicken was created not from an egg. But that's all I'm gonna say. Mmm, chicken nuggets... | |||
 Soccer |
Loss | At the time, I had burning animosities against both, so I just went with the one that was more popular. I didn't know about the curse of popularity. | |||
 Leo |
Loss | Don't care for TMTT, I just picked him because his teeth seemed less creepy. | |||
 Mikey |
Loss | I had a really good reason for picking him, but... I forgot. It was something about a great wall. | |||
 Donnie |
Victory | My internet was busted at the time of this Splatfest, but I would have picked him. Again because his teeth seemed less creepy. | |||
 No Pulp |
Loss | Pulp is just... ew. I once had orange juice at a hotel. And guess what? There was pulp in it. Ewww. | |||
 Squid |
Victory | This was a really tough choice for me. I wish I understood enemy Octolings better. | |||
 Fork |
Victory | Love me my plastic fooooorks I mean what? | |||
 Modern |
Victory | Hearing music from before the 21st century makes me cringe. I don't know why. | |||
 Treat |
Victory | Why would I have picked making people feel stupid over junk food?! YUMMMMMMM! | |||
 Salsa |
Victory | Wow, a five-win streak! I've never actually had guacamole, so... | |||
 Hero |
Loss | Probably the main reason I picked it is because I was offended when Marina said the hero of any story is always the least interesting character. It's really not true. | |||
 Family |
Loss | I don't HAVE any friends. I'm sorry. It had to be said. It's not that people hate me, it's just that they don't know I exist. Literally my best friend is my sister. oof. | |||
 Pancakes |
Loss | Well, you see, pancakes are a real treat. You can't just throw them together whenever you feel like it. And you get tired of waffles when you have the frozen Eggo waffles in your freezer all. the. time. I stopped eating waffles altogether after this Splatfest. | |||
 Wizard |
Victory | I'm a mage in Miitopia. Not a warrior. | |||
 Hare |
Victory | I don't think the bunny would take a nap in the rematch after the results of the first race. Also, he's not a girl. | |||
 Teleportation |
Victory | Time travel can completely screw up your life if you do the wrong thing. Heck, you could step on a pencil, go to the future and find out it's been taken over by sentient pistachio plants. What? Anyway, if I could teleport, I would never need to get a driver's license and I could go to one of Off the Hook's concerts in Japan! | |||
 Unicorn |
Loss | I think I picked team unicorn because... I didn't know narwhals existed until sometime earlier this year. And I didn't know they were real until I looked it up after the Splatfest announcement. The real ones are boring... | |||
 Order |
Loss | I'VE BEEN DUPED!!!!!! IS THAT WHAT YOU CALL CHAOS, PEARL YOU DORK?!?!?!?!?! I'm just kidding. I still love you. | |||
The curse of popularity
The more popular teams seemed to keep losing... and Marina's continued being more popular. Wow, too bad for her. Anyway, I decided there's probably some ancient Indians buried under Inkopolis cursing the more popular team to lose.
The final Splatfest seems to have proven this wrong... or at least that the Indians aren't angry anymore.
Andrew Going Off Book
| Nonsense | |||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Splatfest | Team | Notes | |||
| Cake vs Ice Cream | Donuts | He doesn't mean cake donuts. | |||
| Mayo vs Ketchup | Mustard | He likes to have mustard and mayo on his sub from Jimmy Johns, then go to McDonalds and get a side of fries to eat with ketchup. | |||
| Flight vs Invisibility | Super Speed | Andrew claims he wouldn't need flight or invisibility if he had super speed. Don't ask me. | |||
| Vampires vs Werewolves | Zombies | He doesn't know about the whole Zombies vs Ghosts thing in Europe. Don't tell him. You will crush his spirit. | |||
| Sci-Fi vs Fantasy | Sci-Fantasy | He couldn't think of anything... | |||
| Sweaters vs Socks | Pants | ... he's got some pretty slick pants... | |||
| Action vs Comedy | Drama | ALL HE WANTED TO DO WAS LOVE HERRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! | |||
| Money vs Love | You Just Can't Think Of Anything Good To Do | Don't know where he got that one... | |||
| Chicken vs Egg | Bologna | When Agent 3 questioned him, he said, "Well, you usually have eggs for breakfast and chicken for dinner. Bologna is a lunch meat." To which Agent 3 responded, "... You got some straaaange logic..." | |||
| Baseball vs Soccer | Tennis | I love video game tennis! Why didn't I ask Andrew for a Splatfest tee?! | |||
| Raph vs Leo | Hobson-Turtle | Um... | |||
| Mikey vs Donnie | Michelangelo | I think he's talking about that one guy... You know, that one guy? | |||
| Raph vs Donnie | Hobson-Turtle | Umm... | |||
| Pulp vs No-Pulp | Apple Juice | Well, that's an obvious one. | |||
| Squid vs Octopus | Jellyfish | He likes the jellyfish that skateboards around Inkopolis Square. But he does not like the jellyfish that puts its tentacle thing on the road and then licks it. | |||
| Fork vs Spoon | Knife | That's another obvious one. | |||
| Retro vs Modern | Everything Except Stuff I Don't Like | He doesn't care if it's retro or modern. If he likes it, he likes it! | |||
| Trick vs Treat | Stay At Home And Watch Horror Movies | His friends would probably bring candy to the epic horror movie party, so... | |||
| Salsa vs Guacamole | Cheese Dip | Eeeeeeeyikes. | |||
| Hero vs Villain | Damsel | "... Don't get any ideas!" | |||
| Family vs Friend | Stranger | Well, you know, all our favorite singers and actors and stuff are still strangers. | |||
| Pancake vs Waffle | French Toast | Do you like waffles? Yeah I like waffles! Do you like pancakes? Yeah I like pancakes! Do you like French toast? Yeah I like French toast! "WHAT?! THAT'S NOT A CHOICE!!" | |||
| Knight vs Wizard | Healer | Agent 3 is the Warrior, Agent 4 is the Mage, and Andrew is the Cleric!!! Actually, that's completely wrong. | |||
| Hare vs Tortoise | Sleepy Bird | ... Oh. It looks like Sleepy Bird is the winner. | |||
| Time Travel vs Teleportation | Pie | What?! Pie isn't related to time travel or teleportation!! Unless... *Pink Panther plays* | |||
| Unicorns vs Narwhals | Pie | PIE ISN'T RELATED TO UNICORNS OR NARWHALS!!!!!!!!!! ... unless... *Pink Panther plays more intensely* | |||
| Chaos vs Order | Pie | Well, he loves pie, so I guess he'd want to be on team pie for the final Splatfest. | |||
He doesn't know why he never won any...
Squid Sisters/OTH fandom
I like Callie, Marie, Pearl, Marina in order.
Callie is first because she's just so chipper and upbeat and and and I just like her. Also her name is two letters off from my real name.
Marie is second because she has Agent Fourbia. Muahahahaha... (I have Agent Fourbia as well.) Also I like the Squid Sisters more than Off the Hook.
Pearl is third because the weird things she does and says make her amusing.
Marina is fourth. I'm SORRY. I STILL LOVE YOU. Just... not as much as everyone else. Because... she thinks pancakes disintegrate in your mouth. PANCAKES ARE NOT GUM THAT YOU LEAVE IN YOUR MOUTH ALL NIGHT, MARINA. (Also, I once almost ate my Joy-Con because of you.)
When I first saw Pearl and Marina, I liked Marina more than Pearl. While Marina's outfit bothered me, she seemed... not as attitudey. But Pearl grew on me and sometime after Pancakes versus Waffles, I decided Marina was out of her mind. Insane. And I usually agreed with Pearl, but when I didn't, she was still funny. Like in Time Travel versus Teleportation... *flashbacks and forgets I'm supposed to be writing my userpage*
My love for Agent 4
Two months after Splatoon 2 came out, I got Agent Fourbia.
Okay, so I don't really get how this happened, but... I LOVE Agent 4. I LOVE HER. Back in 2017 I wrote fan fiction about my versions of her and Agent 3 and Callie and Marie getting on a plane only to find it was hijacked by Octarians. Yeah it was really random, don't judge me. And then I kept on writing fan fiction and it got more and more intense. SOOOOOOO INTENSE.
I got rid of a whole bunch here because it was about the final Splatfest which is now over. I think I did pretty well overall... Won, like, eight turf wars and lost four... One of those four being against a team with a 16 WIN STREAK... outrageous. And I got to fire off Pearl's Killer Wail. Or Princess Cannon, whatever.
What the Hero Hoodie Replica's article should ACTUALLY say
The Hero Hoodie Replica is a long-sleeved, yellow-green zipper jacket with a hood. The shoulders and upper arms are made of a more reflective material to improve visibility and drive people who try to replicate it insane.
Bye then
I can't believe you read all that nonsense... unless you just skipped to the bottom of the page for some reason. Well, see ya!
